Over the years, I’ve received some wonderful feedback from the individuals and couples I’ve met with and helped as a therapist. Here are some of the comments I’ve received:
You provided me with a critical blend of information based on science and statistics, literary and historical anecdotes as well as carefully nuanced perspectives and personal stories, all the while coaching us with warmth and humor and a developing sense of intimacy.
To have shared these hours with my husband was profound, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. “Boot Camp” was a source of inspiration in bravery, in honesty, and in intimacy.Thank you for every single word.
(Anonymous “Relationship Bootcamp” Participant 2014)
(Anonymous Parent of Patient)
My Life is changed now….
The girlfriend of one of my closest friends (whom my soon-to-be girlfriend was also friends with) was in a talent show at her school which my girlfriend also attends (they both sing), and she invited my friend and I to go see her and then go to a nearby diner with her and some of her friends afterwards. I met my girlfriend that very night at the diner and we instantly connected. Had I not gone through Dr. Greenfield’s program, I probably would have stayed home that night and played video games instead of going to the talent show and meeting her. I cannot express how grateful I am to Dr. Greenfield for having changed my life in such a positive way. I hope other teens and young adults can have as positive an experience in this program as I did.
~ Anonymous patient
Through EMDR, I have been able to let go of negative parts of me that I thought were fully engrained in who I was and discovered abilities to care, love and be empathetic that I didn’t think I would ever be able to truly experience. For the first time in my life, I feel like a genuine and caring person with nothing to hide. The shame, rage and anger are all gone. They have been replaced by positive emotions and feelings. The EMDR process is truly amazing.” ~ Anonymous patient
I’m a “guy’s guy” in my early 50’s with a very decent and comfortable lifestyle by most measures. However, I have effectively coped with mild to moderate anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. The past year was particularly tough – a perfect storm of concomitant personal, work, marital and family related issues and stress. While unpleasant, I’m certain that my “storm” was probably similar to the everyday challenges that most people face. It was just more than I was capable of effectively handling at the time. I realized that I need to do something different and the first step was to reach out for help. With this realization, my goal was to simply return to my steady state of coping with the “normal” anxiety and depression to which I had been accustomed. Just to get past this rough patch and “back to normal”.
Having achieved limited success with more traditional therapy several years ago, I was searching for something different. It had to be medication-free and preferably something that would deliver quick results. Based on these criteria and a fair amount of on-line research, I am blessed to have found Dr. Greenfield. During the course of five short months, I have not only wildly surpassed my modest, (almost laughable) goal of a “return to my normal state of anxiety and depression” but I have truly become a happy, engaged, enthusiastic and present human being. I have also learned a great deal about myself and the root causes of my previous state. With Dr. Greenfield’s guidance, these learnings are now linked with new thought processes, techniques and an outlook which will allow me to sustain and build on a foundation of greater peace, happiness and resilience.
” ~ Former patient
I think I do not have a need for further consultation. My responsibility is to practice the art of good living through right action. I can’t thank you enough for your care and the support you gave to my parents at this important time of my life. I will let you know if the need arises in the future.” – A former patient
Dr. Dave’s approach is to strengthen and preserve the marriage as opposed to finding fault in any one party. At no time did he take sides on any issues, but encouraged us to discuss our differences so we understood each other’s viewpoint even if we didn’t agree. Dr. Dave taught us how to apply Imago to problem resolution and this has become a very powerful tool in discussing our feelings and concerns in a non-confrontational way.”
ill feelings one of us might have. We find that by practicing Imago we are brought closer together in a loving relationship.”
Dr. David Greenfield is proof to me that God exists. He helped save my life, my marriage and my job. I called Dr. Dave because I was addicted to pornographic images on the Internet. I called him – and he personally returned my call within an hour – because I had been CAUGHT, because I had been forced to finally do something about my lifelong problem.
I had been tormented EVERY DAY for decades by confusing, illogical feelings about sex and intimacy. I acted on those obsessions in very unhealthy ways. All the time I was doing bad things, I didn’t believe I was a bad person. But I couldn’t stop doing those bad things. I couldn’t stop.
When I was a toddler, my brother, who was nearly 15 years older, sexually abused me. Less than two years later, my mother died. What’s worse: Though nothing was further from the truth, my little boy’s mind decided I must have killed her. Either one of those events would have been enough to screw someone up for a long time – even for a lifetime. My mind was screwed up for 40 years. Clinically, you could say I was suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder. (I had a pile of other, related disorders, too.)
Oh, outwardly my life was OK. I had good friends. I had good jobs, was successful at what I did, sometimes exceptionally successful. People thought I had it all together. But on the inside I was a confused little boy who was afraid to feel, afraid to love, afraid to live. With patience and wisdom and love, Dr. Dave helped me unravel my ball of confusing memories. In less than six months of weekly therapy, we had revisited those most painful moments in my life. I realized that it wasn’t my fault my brother used me to gratify his own sick sexual needs. And it wasn’t my fault that my Mommy died.
Through the not-quite-understood miracle of EMDR – eye movement desensitization and reprocessing – I reached back into my memory and, with Dr. Dave’s gentle help, re-lived those horrible events that had so traumatized me. Because I did not, could not understand the events when they happened, the memories were not stored correctly. And I spent 40 years trying, mostly subconsciously, to make sense out of the memories.
Dr. Dave and I used EMDR to bring those events to the surface of my consciousness, so that I could look at them in a logical way for the first time, and then put the corrected memories back into my subconscious mind. With my thinking corrected, I am free from 40 years of mental anxiety. Free of daily obsessions. Free of the addiction, which was my mind’s latest bad attempt at a solution to its problem.
In addition to helping me, Dr. Dave helped my wife – the most beautiful, loving, patient person in the world and my best friend and soul’s companion – understand what I was going through. My wife and I often say “there aren’t words to describe” the love we have for one another. Similarly, every single day, we also say “Thank God for Dr. Dave.”
He literally helped me pry open windows in my memory that had been shut for 40 years. This is hard to describe, but I have never been able to see in my memory the corner of the bedroom I shared with my older brother, the corner where his bed was. That corner was as dark as a black hole. I knew it was a very bad place – filled with fear, with horrible memories. For 40 years, no matter how I looked at that dark place, I couldn’t penetrate it.
Today, thanks to Dr. Dave, there is no darkness in my memory of that bedroom of my childhood. The entire room is bathed in light. Dr. Dave helped me to throw back the curtains and open the windows. He helped me fill that room with pure, radiant light.
At the end of one of the most painful, powerful and productive sessions I shared with Dr. Dave, the session in which that darkness was lifted from me and I knew I was at last free from decades of inner torment, I looked Dr. Dave and said, “You are proof that God exists.” I will believe that forever. Dr. Dave changed my life. He helped me to correct the way I thought about the worst events in my life. He has helped me live.
– Eternally grateful,
Michael (not my real name)
I am married to one of the most loving, kind, and thoughtful men in the world. God truly smiled down on us when He brought us together. When my husband told me that he was addicted to internet pornography and had been caught doing this at work I experienced a plethora of emotions:
Shock because I thought this was totally out of character for the man I loved and married. Anger because I felt that he had betrayed me by doing this and never sharing these problems with me. Doubt because I thought I knew him and now I found out that he had been living a secret life. Would I ever be able to trust him again?? Fear because I thought our wonderful, happy, supportive marriage was at serious risk. Maybe I really didn’t know him after all. I didn’t want to lose him yet I didn’t know how I could continue to be married to someone who was not honest with me.
I knew little about disorders such as his. In the past I stereotyped these kinds of behaviors as weird and perverted without understanding the reasons that caused this type of distraction and confusion. Once I got over the initial shock and came to terms with my emotions, I reminded myself that I loved this man very much and I had made a lifetime commitment him. I recognized that he needed me now and I would do anything I could to help him resolve these issues. I vowed to help my husband to find the best psychological help to work through these problems. We found that Dr. David Greenfield was a widely respected authority in this type of addiction.
At this time I was still overcome with fear. Could my precious husband ever overcome these bizarre addictions?? What did it all mean?? Were his problems so deeply rooted that they could not be resolved?? Would I ever know who he really is?? I experienced resentment because our life had seemed so happy and now it was so complicated, so uncertain, so frightening.
My husband began to meet with Dr. Greenfield weekly. Several times we met with him together. He was very honest with us saying that my husband had serious, longstanding issues to resolve. However, while he acknowledged the seriousness of these issues, he never gave us the feeling that they would be impossible to address.
Through Dr. Greenfield’s guidance and the use of a process called EMDR, my husband was able to resolve issues that were rooted in the first 5 years of his life. He had been a victim of sexual abuse by his oldest brother at age 3 and experienced the death of his mother at age 5. These tragic events occurred through no fault of his, yet his life was negatively impacted by the residual effects for over 40 years. Using EMDR, Dr. Greenfield returned my husband to those events and he painfully relived them. By doing so he is now able to view them from an adult perspective recognizing that these events were not his fault and storing them back in his mind in the proper context, thereby freeing him from the guilt, shame and anxiety that he had experienced for decades.
My husband is like a new person. His self-esteem has improved dramatically. He is focused on improving his skills and utilizing his numerous talents. He is no longer distracted and tormented by thoughts and behaviors that he did not understand. He is happy.
Throughout this period of time, Dr. Greenfield has been so caring and supportive to both of us as he helped us to resolve the most significant challenge of our marriage. I thank God every day for guiding us to find Dr. Greenfield and for the visible difference in my husband as a result of his guidance and support.
In addition, I believe I have become a better person because I have come away from this experience with much more tolerance toward people who exhibit problematic behaviors. I now wonder about the underlying cause of their behavior; I wonder if as a little boy or girl these people were victims of life-altering events such as those my husband experienced. I pray that they, too, will find a Dr. Dave to give them their life back.
With deepest gratitude,
Allison (not my real name)